To choose or not to choose?....

The way I see it you almost always have a choice...

Often I hear people say that they don't have a choice... Often I don't agree to that.

This is why:

An extreme but clarifying example came to me one day when I was watching a wardocumentary about the occupation of the Dutch islands.

The reporter was asking an old man why there was no or almost no resistance on the islands. The man replied: "because we had no choice". The reporter asked what he meant and the old man explained that since the islands were so small, everybody knew everything about one another. When you would stand up to the invaders, someone would talk to them, and you would be executed next morning. The reporter said he understood.

I, on the other hand, was shocked. Not by the fact that the man was afraid to be executed in case he would resist, but by the realisation that in case things get hot, people deny their choice and responsibility. At that moment, I thought: "you bastard!!" Again, not for the fact that he chose to live safely, in stead of standing up for what he believed, thereby risking his life, but by the fact that he was convinced that he did not have the choice between the two options.

I have since been wondering what it is that makes people deny their own choice. In the above example the options are clear: 1) you shut up and live quietly under the invaders' rule, or 2) you fight and likely die. It is a difficult choice, I admit, but it IS a choice. Choosing to do something that might kill you is a choice too.

Another thing I wonder about, is the fact that NOT making a choice is also a choice. Choosing to NOT take responsibility for what you do or not do, is also a choice. The reason, be it fear, confusion, uncertainty etc... for not making a conscious choice does by no means take away the choice itself. 



o_d

Why I like churches.....

Here are some pics I took today in the local church :-)

Dots of light in the pillar

Red tiles

This is my personal favourite today! Like the colours very much!

The light in the wall is almost as bright as the glass in the window!

Little arch

Enjoy the rain

One day, several years ago, I went to the local snackbar in the evening to get some fries. It was raining rather heavily, like it does in the Netherlands... and I was quite wet and grumpy. I went into the snackbar and there was one guy waiting before me... I ordered my fries, and watched the owner give the food to the man before me... upon stepping out the door, the young man turned, smiled and said: "goodbye! enjoy the rain!"
These words struck me and made me smile... I still remember them, and often they help me to really enjoy the rain :-)

Rain isn't so bad at all, nature needs it, and I guess we need it too at times... When I am biking through the rain, and it takes long enough/it is heavy enough, there comes a moment when you stop minding it (usually this coincides with the moment you realise you are about totally soaked and can't possibly get more wet)... this is often a liberating feeling... Yes, you're totally wet, but hey, it's just rain, it will dry soon enough, and you don't die of getting wet.... It's somehow fun, racing though the rain, and the wetter you are, the nicer it is to get home and take off your wet stuff and change into dry stuff! Makes me feel very much alive altogether! and that is a great sensation, no matter where it comes from! :-) So.... enjoy the rain!

Trial and Error....

Can it be true that most plans fail because we don't even seriously try them?

I was thinking of this in the shower just now, when I had just hung the bathroom mirror on the wall....
I remembered my housemate complaining that it would be so much better if the mirror would be hanging on the wall, while it was, until now, standing on the shelf above the sink.... as, I assume, it has been for a long time before I moved in....
Now, I had a look at the wall and the mirror for about 2 minutes when brushing my teeth and I saw a screw sticking out the wall... turning over the mirror, I saw a hole (to put a screw or nail) for suspension.... I put the hole to the screw, tried if it was hanging securely and now it's hanging on the bathroom wall, safe and solid.... Not at all difficult... Now, this is not to boast that I am crafty, but merely to express my wonder at the fact that people often don't even seem to TRY ideas they have, or taking steps to achieve what they want.... this bathroom mirror is just a small and silly example, but if you take this line of thought, and copy-paste it to different (bigger, more important) areas of life, how many times do we get an idea, or a wish for something or some situation and do we not even get to trying how to get it/there because we kill the idea prematurely because we perceive it to be too difficult, too hard, too absurd, too scary, too different?  This is not even trial and error... we can learn from mistakes and errors made.... in my opinion, and this is perhaps just a personal wake-up call, (which does not mean I will always apply this knowledge from now on) the greatest error is not even trying....

I'm looking forward to your thoughts, if you wish to share them!

o_d

Of time, speed, efficiency and its gains and losses...

Rightnow I am reading a very interesting book: Tyranny of the Moment by prof. Thomas Hylland Eriksen. Here is a little part of the book I particularly like and would like to share with you.


Nothing personal with regard to Germans or Spaniards, but from a cultural perspective, it is interesting to me to consider the difference in "northern and "southern" cultures while I'm at it.... :-p

"The contagious nature of speed, and its intimate relationship to efficiency as a value in itself, is brought out clearly in a well-known story which exists in many versions. In the variant told by Heinrich Böll, a German tourist visits Spain and discovers, to his horror, a Spaniard dozing in the shade of a tree on the beach. The German approaches the man, a fisherman, and lectures him on the virtues of efficiency: 'If you had gone out fishing now in stead of wasting your time, he explains, you might have caught three times as much fish and bought yourself a better boat.' Eventually, he fantasises, the Spaniard might employ others and build a factory. He could become a rich man! 'What for?', asks the Spaniard. 'Well', says the German, 'you could have gone into early retirement, living off the profits and spend your days dozing on the beach.' 'That', says the Spaniard before turning over, 'is exactly what I'm doing.'

Something has run out of control. Time-saving technology has made time more scarce than ever. The wealth of available information has not made most of us more enlightened, but less enlightened." (Thomas Hylland Eriksen 2001, 77)

And I would like to add another quote and some of my own thoughts that relate to this:

"Speed is excellent where it belongs. But it is contagious, and it has possibly serious side-effects. Unless we understand how speed functions, what it adds and what it removes, we are deprived of the opportunity to retain slowness where necessary" (Thomas Hylland Eriksen 2001:59).

Now, I consider it among our tasks to 1) decide when speed and slowness are necessary and, 2) to consider what speed can add and remove from our lives and 3)take into account the consequences whenever we choose a fast or slow pace of life.

Pace of life

My dear girlfriend one day exclaimed: “you are the man who is ten times slower than anybody else” and that made me think...

I am slow, yes.... and the way she said it, she made it sound like a bad thing, but actually, I don't agree to that.... I have my own pace of life, and so does everybody else... Besides that, I realise, I really like my own pace of life, be it sometimes slower, sometimes faster than others... it depends highly on the thing you do anyway. 

Some people are fast, but make may mistakes, some people are fast and never learn to improve what they do.... It seems to me that in the current age, speed is valued too much, so much, that it pushes away other, perhaps more important values...

I, for example like to do things slowly, carefully and thoughfully, which ensures quality and peace of mind....

Daily OM has many thoughtful texts and one of them is about one's pace of life... I would like to share it with you, since it largely matches and informs my views:

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September 13, 2010

At Your Own Pace

The Tortoise and the Hare

People take life at different speeds and one way is not necessarily superior to another.

The classic tale of the tortoise and the hare reminds us that different people take life at different speeds and that one way is not necessarily superior to another. In fact, in the story it is the slower animal that ends up arriving at the destination first. In the same way, some of us seem to move very quickly through the issues and obstacles we all face in our lives. Others need long periods of time to process their feelings and move into new states of awareness. For those of us who perceive ourselves as moving quickly, it can be painful and exasperating to deal with someone else’s slower pace. Yet, just like the tortoise and the hare, we all arrive at the same destination, together, eventually.

People who take their time with things are probably in the minority in most of the world today. We live in a time when speed and productivity are valued above almost anything else. Therefore, people who flow at a slower pace are out of sync with the world and are often pestered and prodded to go faster and do more. This can be not only frustrating but also counterproductive because the stress of being pushed to move faster than one is able to move actually slows progress. On the other hand, if a person’s style is honored and supported, they will find their way in their own time and, just like the tortoise, they might just beat the speedier, more easily distracted person to the finish line.

It’s important to remember that we are not actually in a race to get somewhere ahead of someone else, and it is difficult to judge by appearances whether one person has made more progress than another. Whether you count yourself among the fast movers or as one of the slower folks, we can all benefit from respecting the pace that those around us choose for themselves. This way, we can keep our eyes on our own journey, knowing that we will all end up together in the end.

Source: Daily OM

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Now, it is a bit fuzzy and gets a bit down the track of woolly spiritual contemplations, which is not always my cup of tea, but there are things in it I like very much. 

I don't know if we end up at the same destination together/we end up together in the end, but to me, that is not the important point. The main point to me is that our attention is drawn towards the realisation that people live their lives at a different pace, and that we should respect one another's pace. To me it often seems that a certain pace, often together with a lifestyle, is forced upon me (or others) and I dislike that very much.

To me there is no correct pace but your own, and in relation to others, you will sometimes have to discuss the pace in which things are done together...

Another idea that is appealing to me is the idea that life is not a race.... it is when you choose to race, it is not when you don't...

If, as the author of this Daily OM states, we all should end up at the same destination, life indeed could be considered some kind of race, but to me, we all rather seem to go to our own destination, and the way to get there is a highly personal one, and trying to live life at another pace than your own, whether faster or slower, seems to me unhealthy...

I like the way reading this made me think about and appreciate my own pace of life, and I hope you will do so too :-)

o_d

I do wanna be me

When in 2003 Type O Negative delivered the album Life is Killing Me, I was almost immediately struck by the song "I don't wanna be me". I liked it beyond all the other songs on the album. Not because the direct lyrics, but because the train of thought it caused me.... the chorus tells us:

"I Don't Wanna be
I Don't Wanna be me
I Don't Wanna be me anymore"

(Type O Negative)

The the song is accompanied by a clip that is, in my opinion, brilliantly done. It shows a normal working class man, coming home from work, and changing into all kinds of costumes, impersonating all kinds of idols. Yet, throughout the song, he does not manage to be satisfied with any of his efforts to become someone he seems to want to be...
I find this a striking symptom certain of modern day societies, in my opinion, a rather apt observation by the men of Type O. People seem to have so many influences, that they have trouble choosing, and trouble deciding who they want to be.... besides that, people do not learn to realise and accept simply Being who they are, and working from there.... Hearing this song, and seeing this clip, the unhappiness and inability to accept himself, described in the man's life, inspired me to realise the opposite: I DO want to be me! Very much so! and I do want to change the things I do not like, and learn things I wish to know.

Please enjoy this clip and it's insights and reflect on it (please click the link below, since embedding did not work for this vid) :-)

o_d

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXIWRan3XGY